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<title>Blog</title>
<link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/</link>
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<lastBuildDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:44:19 CDT</lastBuildDate>
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<copyright>Copyright 2009 Oak Community Church</copyright>
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  <title>Pain in Paradise</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/pain-in-paradise/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/pain-in-paradise/</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:43:53 CDT</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>I'm sitting here thinking thoughts, greater than my brain power, about the subject of pain. My life has experienced its share, more than many, far less than most. PAIN, everyone knows its definition. We all know it means hurt, of the body, of the heart, of the mind, or of the soul. Even if we haven't experienced pain first hand, it looms over us with a shadow of anxiety when we witness or think of it.&nbsp; Here are some theological thoughts and/or observations on this theodicy. There was Pain in Paradise.</p>
<p>&nbsp;Physical Pain in Paradise</p>

Pain was greatly increased for the woman's childbearing. (Gen 3:16) This means pain existed in Paradise before sin.
Pain, in its pre-fall function, was not a curse but a blessing. 
Pain existed as a warning of far greater trauma. Bones could break before the fall, fires could still burn, ankles still could twist, heads still got contusions, elbows still got scraped.
Hunger warned the body of malnutrition.
Thirst warned the body of dehydration.
The impulse to breathe warns the body of its need for oxygen.
Pain in Paradise alerted a very wise human to the potential of further or greater danger.

<p>Emotional Pain in Paradise (between created individuals)</p>

Aloneness signaled a need for belonging
Even in paradise, two unique individuals have the likely potential have having two different opinions regarding the same subject.
Two unique individuals have the likely potential of desiring 

<p>1. the same attention from the same individual only capable of giving to one at a time</p>
<p>2. the same individual liking one more than the other</p>
<p>3. the same individual liking one differently than the other</p>
<p>4. from another individual emotionally in a way not given.</p>
<p>5. different timetables, tasks, activities, etc...</p>
<p>Even in Paradise, all create a sense of inflicting an&nbsp;amoral pain on the one of differing feelings, desires, goals, etc...</p>

This is true of the needs/desires between humans in community. 
Emotional pain (need) opens the door to selflessness and other-centeredness, care, sacrificial love, etc...

<p>Spiritual Pain in Paradise (with God)</p>

I think this was non-existent prior to the fall.
An all good, all powerful, all wise God provides all that is needed to all who need it, whenever it is needed, without measure or lack. 

<p>With The Fall, Paradise was no more.</p>
<p>Physical Pain was no longer only a warning, but also an affliction and potentially an infliction.</p>
<p>Emotional Pain didn't only stir the heart to selflessness, but to self first gratification, competition, conflict, jealousy, anger and murder, which is the termination of community.</p>
<p>Spiritual Pain manifest itself with the empty sense of a lack of fulfillment, a void of purpose and a loss of significance that leads to depression, anger and suicide, a desire for annihilation, which is the termination of personal value.</p>
<p>Still thinking about pain!</p>]]></description>
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  <title>The Boy in the Striped Pajamas: Ignorance is Bliss</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/the-boy-in-the-striped-pajamas-ignorance-is-bliss/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/the-boy-in-the-striped-pajamas-ignorance-is-bliss/</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:25:24 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>Ignorance is bliss! Is it? What if we're talking about naivet&eacute; concerning evil? What harm is it if I simply don't know about or don't pay attention to evil? We know evil needs a victim, but what if I'm not evil's target? Does it still impact me, even if I'm not on evil's radar?</p>
<p>Framed within the Hitler-crazed era of Germany, the movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas portrays a family that chooses to naively sidestep the evil of genocidal holocaust. Or do they? Let me introduce the movie's family to you.</p>

Bruno, the family's eight year old boy, hasn't the slightest idea that the evil of genocide even exists.
Bruno's barely teen sister, Gretel, is the prime target of Nazi propaganda and chooses to see the exciting and romantic face of its evil.
Bruno's mother knows the evil behind her SS husband's reassignment, but naively believes the reality is not as bad as it seems and her family is "safely" insulated.
Bruno's father is evil's willing accomplice, but disguises its horror with a na&iuml;ve duty.
Shmuel, a Jewish boy trapped by the evil, is aware of its brutality but na&iuml;ve to its true lethal nature.

<p>Does evil bypass the door of Bruno's na&iuml;ve family as death passed over the blood stained doorways of Jews thousands of years ago? No! Evil is a toxic fume that leaves no one immune to its fatal powers. Like a merciless game of checkers, each member of Bruno's family is maneuvered into evil's realm of destruction, regardless of their ability or willingness to acknowledge it.</p>

Bruno's mother succumbs to depression as her naivet&eacute; is pulled aside to reveal evil's ugly ferocity and its grasp on her family.
Bruno's father becomes evil's willing puppet. Without strings attached, the lust of esteem tugs and pulls at him, animating his doomed life.
Bruno's sister gladly absorbs the doctrines of Arian supremacy leaving her a mindless automaton of bigotry. 
Bruno's own friendship starved naivet&eacute; places him within evils lethal grasp like a bird flying headlong into a fowlers net.
Shmuel, desperate for emotional survival, becomes the unknowing bait of evil's worst. 

<p>Lesson: Evil cannot be confined within barb-wired fences. Evil can no more be ignored than any other lethal threat. Like the city that placated a little serpent with tidbits of food, so evil, like the serpent, will one day grow to devour the city itself.</p>
<p>So, here is the big question. What evil are you ignoring? Of what evil have you chosen to remain naively ignorant? Is it the personal evil of anger or faith robbing anxieties, wrong desires, dominance, pride...? On a societal level do you dismiss justice when you are not affected? Do you shrug off mercy because you're not suffering? Do you tolerate prejudice, bigotry or racism? If your streets are safe, do you ignore the danger on others? Do you feel it is tolerable to let others choose violence against the unborn, thinking it will not one day do evil to you and your family? &nbsp;Can you allow violence to be done to the family paradigm without it diminishing or destroying yours? Can we really escape evil if we choose to naively ignore it anywhere on our planet? No, we can't! Jesus didn't either. His simple but all engaging solution, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 6 - family</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-6-family/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-6-family/</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:52:26 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>*This is the 6th post in a series on the book Hurt by Chap Clark.&nbsp; The aim of this blog series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to internalize and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life.*<br /><br />In chapter 6, the author focuses on the affect of Family on midadolescence.&nbsp; I'd like to begin with part of conclusion that the author draws from the discussion: <br /><br />"The most important thing for parents to do is to commit to two vital strategies in leading and loving their midadolescent children: to understand them and their world, and to provide them with safe and secure boundaries while still allowing them the necessary room to grow." (p.110)<br /><br />From my experience with midadolecence (which, by way of review, refers to approximately 13 to mihttp://www.oakcommunitychurch.org//media/050904.mp3 year olds), this could not be more true.&nbsp; A few weeks ago I shared a few observations with parents of high school students that I have gathered from working with their kids.&nbsp; Two of the five general observations were exactly in this vein: 1) they (students) do not feel very well known or understood by parents, 2) they do not feel as though they get significant interaction with their dads.&nbsp; I encouraged parents to enter the world of students as much as possible, which is not an easy thing to do, and get to know them there rather than only interacting in the adult world.<br /><br />Earlier in the chapter, the Clark writes, "The kind of environment in which a child, especially during midadolescence, may ultimately be strengthened as he or she moves through the adolescent process is by a family with relationally committed father and mother and a home that is a place of safety and security and where, even during conflict and rocky circumstances, and adolescent knows that he or she is unconditionally accepted and loved." (p.104)<br /><br />"Relationally committed" is not easy to achieve among all the busyness of life, but it is so vitally important to your students' development.&nbsp; They need you, and they need a real relationship with you.&nbsp; As Clark pointed out back in chapter two, "we are a culture that has forgotten how to be together." (p. 46)<br /><br />The final thought I want to touch on is the role of conflict in the parent-midadolescent relationship.&nbsp; He writes that conflict happens often, sometimes daily, in the midadolescent stage.&nbsp; It should be somewhat expect, to some degree.&nbsp; What seems to matter most is how the parents deal with the conflict: <br /><br />"Most midadolescens rapidly get over the day-to-day conflicts they experience at home, especially if they feel close to their parents.&nbsp; But parents are not so resilient.&nbsp; For many parents, even simple conflicts can push their buttons and drive a wedge in their relationships with their children.&nbsp; Over time midadolescents pick up on this general sense of separation.&nbsp; This causes them to pull away from their parents." (p.109)<br /><br />-What are your thoughts?<br />-How "relationally committed" is your family?&nbsp; How can you move toward being more relational?<br />-What is the state of the boundaries with your students?&nbsp; Do they allow your children the necessary room for growth?<br />-How does your family handle conflict?&nbsp; How do you handle conflict?&nbsp; How does your spouse?</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 5 - school</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-5-school/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-5-school/</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 12 Nov 2008 09:33:30 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p><br />*This is the 5th post in a series on the book Hurt by Chap Clark.  The aim of this series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to internalize and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life.*<br /><br />in the 5th chapter of Hurt, Chap Clark explains some issues of today's high school academic environment and the affect they are having on students.  He does this first from a teacher's point of view, and then from that a student's.<br /><br />From a teacher's point of view there are three issues.  Please note, lest I misrepresent the author, that these critiques are not meant to be hurtful of teachers, but rather a set of objective (hopefully) observations:<br /><br />1)"There is an underlying conflict between students and teacher."  He goes on to say that most teachers are starting from the presupposition that learning is an enjoyable and thereby motivating experience, while students typically do not view it this way. (p. 90)  Students typically did not find anything "pleasurable" about the academic side of High School (p. 91).<br /><br />2) It is easy for teachers to "pigeonhole students to the point at which they hinder students' ability to grow and develop." (p 92).  He explains that students are often lumped into categories of "good", "bad", etc. rather than being valued for what each individually has to offer.<br /><br />3) "...teachers feel overwhelmed by the very task of teaching in the contemporary American public high school system." (p. 93)  He explains that teachers usually have little support, high pressure due to standardized testing, multiple large classes, and a number of other factors that leave them feeling stretched beyond their capabilities to meet the expectations and care for students. (p. 93)<br /><br />From the point of view of students:<br />1) "...respect is viewed as something to be earned, not granted" (p. 95) He has found that students actually "enter a classroom prepared not to respect a teacher unless that teacher wins their respect."(p.96)<br /><br />2) "The motivating factor [for academic achievement] was the same for those who were high achievers as those who did not seem to care very much: A student will do whatever it takes to navigate the complex and varied demands of midadolescence with as much self-protection and self-interest necessary." (p. 96-97)  If getting good grades makes them feel good, then they do it.  If they find that validation elsewhere, then grades are not a big concern.<br /><br />Another quote that stood out to me was from David Brooks article, Making it: Love and Success at America's Finest Universities, which I will edit significantly to save space:<br /> "One of the most destructive forces in American life today is the tyranny of the grade point system... Students are not rewarded for developing a passion for a subject and following their curiosity where it takes them.  They are rewarded if they can carefully budget their mental energies and demonstrate proficiency across all academic disciplines...Idosyncrasy is punished.  Students are rewarded for having a lukewarm enthusiasm for all fields in general and none in particular... They are rewarded for their ability to mindlessly defer to their professors' wishes and never strike out on their own or follow a contradictory path" (p. 96)<br /><br />This resonates with me strongly.  Today's students have more opportunities available to them and more information and resources at their fingertips, but less dreams, motivation, desire, and passion for their lives than past generations.  I wonder how much our society has ironed those things out of them by demanding that they be more concerned with living up to the desires of others than their own, which is one of the characteristics of the idea of this "World Beneath": managing your image to others expectations (see <a target="_self" href="http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-3/">Hurt 3</a>).<br /><br />3) "..cheating is so widespread that it is considered by many to be the norm."(p 97)<br /><br />4) "...students who care about grades and academic performance are experiencing an ever-increasing level of anxiety and stress over school."(p.98)  The school in which Chap did his study expected that every student would spend 45 minutes at minimum on homework per class per day.  Every student was in at least 5 classes, which means that every student was expected to do homework for almost 4 hours a night.  Add that to the sports and other extra-curricular activities (clubs, church, family, etc.) and there is little time left to even sleep.<br /><br />"There seemed to be little apparent systemic consideration for what these schedules, expectations, and pressures do to the development and health of midadolescents."(p.99)<br /><br />This is getting long, but i must give two final quotes:<br /><br />"we have hurt entire populations of adolescents because we have allowed our limited understanding and definition of "gifted" to be shaped by and extremely narrow view of human potential" (p101)<br /><br />When asked what it takes to be a great teacher, the 2002-2003 teacher of the year of the High School where this study was conducted replied:<br />"The same thing it takes to be a great spouse, or parent, or coach, or leader in any setting.  It's not mystical, and it sure isn't a secret.  It is just caring enough for each person in front of you that they know they matter to you.  To be a great teacher means I am allowed the privilege of being with great kids.  They're the ones who deserve this award."</p>
<p>Interesting thoughts.  What are your reactions?  How can adults help students navigate this environment in a loving and nurturing way?</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 4 - peers</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-4-peers/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-4-peers/</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 03 Nov 2008 09:33:17 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p><br />*This is the 4th post in a series on the book Hurt by Chap Clark.  The aim of this blog series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to internalize and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life.*<br /><br />Chapter 4 of Hurt focuses on peer relationships and is the first of eight chapters exploring the social systems, or "world beneath" as the author calls it (see <a href="http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-3/" target="_self">Hurt 3</a>), of high school students.<br /><br />Many adults today would probably agree that one of the key features of their high school experience was the existence of cliques.  A person in a clique would be considered "in" and others would be considered "out".  There were, most likely, a handful of identifiable cliques at a given high school.  I think there may even be reason to believe that these cliques continue on into adulthood and, although the people making up the cliques are different, their existence is still, often unfortunately, still observable.  In this chapter, Clark argues that cliques and even the idea of the "in" crowd have been replaced by "clusters".<br /><br />"Midadolescents believe their only choice is to find a relational place where they are not in danger of being ignored, used, or pushed aside... In short, clusters develop because midadolescents know they have no choice but to find a safe, supportive family and community, and in a culture of abandonment, the peer group seems to be the only option they have." (p. 79)<br /><br />Essentially, the need for safety causes a search for safe places.  Since there are very few legitimately safe places and safe people in the lives of today's midadolescents, they find safety among like-minded peers.  Their acceptance into and formation of these peer clusters is based less upon perceived social status, as cliques have been in the past, and more upon where one feels genuinely accepted.<br /><br />"What I observed, however, was that clusters are subconsciously chosen according to who will make one feel the most welcome and safe with the least amount of work and stress, even though this central criteria is rarely if ever verbalized.  Once the choice of cluster has been settled, there may be some overlap and movement from cluster to cluster, but this too seems to be the exception rather than the rule."(p. 84)<br /><br />I find this chapter to be especially interesting.  I've observed clusters among our students as they bring their friends to the Student Ministry.  Chap Clark mentions that if someone, particularly an adult is accepted and liked by one member of a cluster, they are typically accepted and liked to some extent by the other members.  I really believe that clusters can be a beneficial avenue for ministry as a result.  Acceptance by one student gives way to acceptance by their cluster, quickly multiplying the influence that one adult could potentially have.<br /><br />*Have you noticed the existence of peer clusters in any ways?<br />*How are clusters different from the network of peer relationships in which you participated in high school or still participate in today?<br />*What are some of the positive and negative attributes of this aspect of current student culture?</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 3 - the world beneath</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-3-the-world-beneath/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-3-the-world-beneath/</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:33:02 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>*This is the 3rd post in a series on the book Hurt by Chap Clark.  The aim of this blog series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to internalize and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life.*<br /><br />This chapter seeks to define and build a case for the existence of, as the author calls it, "the world beneath".  The next 8 chapters will explore the characteristics of this world.<br /><br />"I discovered that mid-adolescents have responded to systemic abandonment by creating a separate and highly structured social system, which I call the world beneath" (p. 59)<br /><br />Here are a few quotes that resonated with me and my experience with students:<br /><br />"...because mid-adolescents sense an emotional and relational starvation, the most important thing in their lives is a relationally focused home where they know they are welcome." (p. 60)<br /><br />"The world beneath is concerned with one major feature: safety." (p. 63)<br /><br /> * How many homes today can actually be described as relationally focused?<br /> * What are the characteristics of a relationally focused home?<br /><br />"In light of the culture of abandonment, in which adolescents perceive little adult social capital directed their way, it is no wonder that they feel the need to create the world beneath." (p. 60)<br /><br />"They honestly seem to believe that adults are unnecessary.  Yet it is an equally, if not more deeply felt truth that every mid-adolescent is crying out for an adult who cares.  By the time adolescents have entered the middle stage of the process, they have so little trust that they are reticent even to allow an adult to glimpse how badly they desire an adult who cares."(p. 63)<br /><br />Clark quotes Mary Pipher on the topic of young women: "girls are having more trouble now than they had thirty years ago.... Something new is happening.  Adolescence has always been hard, but it's harder now because of cultural changes in the last decade.... There is an African saying, &lsquo;It takes a village to raise a child.' Most girls no longer have a village." (Hurt p. 68; Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia 28).<br /><br />"Today's adolescents are, as a lot, indescribably lonely." (p. 69)<br /><br />I'm deeply saddened by all of this, but feel that there is more truth in it than I would like to admit.  I've seen the desire students have for relationships with adults.  I've seen the loneliness.<br /><br />I fervidly wish that the church would become a community that looks less like the culture and more like the family of God:  a place of hope and healing.  <br /><br />May we adults take seriously the impact and influence that we have on the lives of youth around us.  May we live the love that we've been given.<br /><br />(Interested in joining the <a target="_blank" href="http://www.theoccunderground.com/?page_id=12">student ministry staff</a>, anyone?)</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 2 - abandonment</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-2-abandonment/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-2-abandonment/</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:33:41 CST</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>HURT: inside the world of today's teenagers<br /><br />This is the 2nd post in a series on the book Hurt by Chap Clark.  The aim of this blog series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to discuss and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life<br /><br />The second chapter of Hurt focuses on defining and building a case for abandonment being the central issue that defines mid-adolescents.<br /><br />Here are some quotes that I was draw to:</p>
<p><br />"Organizations, structures, and institutions that were originally concerned with children's care, welfare, and development have become less interested in individual nurture and developmental concern and more interested in institutional perpetuation (or the competitive, even pathological, needs of the adult in charge)." (p. 49)<br /><br />I have seen this played out so often: coaches yelling at and tearing down their players, schools pushing students to test better to improve their standings (isn't it odd that students are offered classes on test taking?  Shouldn't learning be the point, not scores?), churches and youth ministries focusing on bringing in high numbers at the expense of individual needs and attention, etc.<br /><br /> * In what ways have you seen this abandonment?<br /><br /><br />"In a major study of one thousand children and adolescents, for example, the majority reported that the time they spent with parents was often hurried"(p.51)<br /><br />Pair that idea with Clark's statement on p. 46, "We are a culture that has forgotten how to be together" and you begin to see how the sense of abandonment often comes from more than just institutions<br /><br /> * How well does your family do at just being together<br /><br />"The postmodern family is often so concerned about the needs, struggles, and issues of parents that the emotional and developmental needs of the children go largely unmet" (p.50)<br /><br />I am not going to bother with any commentary here.  But I would like to say that part of what I believe makes this book so insightful is Clark's courageous venture to meet students on their own turf.  He begins this chapter by confessing that he has spent much of his time before this project getting to know students in his context rather than theirs, and as a result has missed truly knowing them (p. 40).  I find this idea to be very challenging. <br /><br /> * How can we as adults meet students on their turf and in their context? <br /> * How can a parent meet his/her student(s) in their context?  Especially when it so often seems like students don't want a parent involved in some parts of their world?<br /><br />Please post your thoughts.  I would to dialogue about these and/or other ideas!<br /><br />Thanks for reading.  Peace.</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Emotional Stiff Arms</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/emotional-stiff-arms/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/emotional-stiff-arms/</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 09:56:14 CDT</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>"I hate divorce," says the LORD. (Malachi 2:16) It doesn't get much clearer than that. Like Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) once said, "It's not the things I don't understand in the Bible that bother me, it's the things that are perfectly clear." This is so clear, it is crystal. God stopped listening to the people of Israel, because the men of Israel were divorcing their older wives for younger women. Things haven't changed much.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The Hebrew word for divorce is shalach. It literally means to extend your arm. As we track the usage of this word through the Old Testament, things get interesting. Shalach is used for the first time in Genesis 3. It is a word synonymous with the Fall of humanity. After eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God was concerned that Adam and Eve might shalach from the tree of life, reach for the fruit of the tree of life. If they did, apparently they would be locked in an eternal state of life apart from a relationship with God. As a result, God shalached them out of the Garden of Eden. He extended His arm and out of the Garden they went. God hated what was happening. He hates broken relationship, He hates shalach. He hates divorce.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; With shalach as our word picture, divorce is not only breaking marriage vows, divorce is giving a relational stiff arm or intentionally keeping a loved one emotionally at arm's length. Therefore, couples can stay married to one another and still live a divorced life. If that's the case, each time we shove away someone we love or keep them emotionally at arms length we are practicing a form of divorce. It's not the serious breaking of marital covenant love, but it is nevertheless as painful and distasteful to God when elderly parents, brothers, sisters, our children or friends experience shalach from us.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Let's all do a shalach inventory this week. Look at your relationships and see if any are kept at arms length because of anger, unforgiveness or bitterness. Take the steps needed to bring in your arm. Drop it to your side or better yet, embrace them with it.&nbsp; If God hates shalach, my guess is that He will love and bless the reconciliation that turns pushing away to embracing. After all, this is the ministry God has given all who follow Him. (2 Cor 5:17-19)</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Hurt 1</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-1/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/hurt-1/</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:48:29 CDT</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>HURT: inside the world of today's teenagers<br /><br />This post is the beginning of a study on the book <a target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/Hurt-Inside-Todays-Teenagers-Culture/dp/0801027322">Hurt by Chap Clark</a>.&nbsp; The aim of this blog series is to give parents, as well as anyone else who may be interested in participating, a venue to discuss and process ideas relevant to parenting and student life.&nbsp; This allows participants to be a part of the dialogue without having to organize a convenient time to meet together.&nbsp; <br /><br />If you already have the book and have been waiting to hear back from me, then thanks for your patience!&nbsp; If you had no idea this was going on, then I invite you to pick up a copy and participate.<br /><br />In the Preface, the author explains the experience which spawned this book: in an effort to research the developmental stage known as mid-adolescence and the changes that have and are taking place therein, Chap became a participant observer at a high school.&nbsp; This allowed him to enter the world of students on their own turf (p.8 &amp; 11).<br /><br />&nbsp;In Part 1: The Changing World of Adolescence, Clark reveals his premise for the book.&nbsp; "Adolescents have been cut off for far too long from the adults who have the power and experience to escort them into the greater society."<br /><br />A great part of the first chapter centered on defining adolescence.&nbsp; What stood out to me from the treatment was 1- that "Adolescence is not a blend of both child and adult, nor is it an expanded phase of either.&nbsp; Adolescence is a unique phase of life that must be understood and dealt with on its own merit" (p. 27, bottom) and 2- adolescence is a process that begins biologically and ends culturally. (p. 28, top).<br /><br />Clark describes a shift, or "unraveling", of culture that has taken place over the last 50 years and the effect it has had on adolescent development:<br /><br />"...as society began to unravel, adults found themselves trying to find a safe place, a haven of security and rest.&nbsp; No longer was there energy and health available for giving to others.&nbsp; Instead adults waged a fight for emotional and relational survival, and this in turn spilled over into the developmental longings of adolescents...<br />...but as society in general moved from being a relatively stable and cohesive adult community intent on caring for the needs of the young [pre- 1950's] to a free for all of independent and fragmented adults seeking their own survival, individual adolescents found themselves in a deepening hole of systemic rejection." (p. 33)<br /><br />I'd like to hear what your responses and reactions have been to this material, especially since I am only a few years removed from adolescence (especially has Clark defines it) and as a result you may have a larger view of the cultural shifts.<br /></p>

Do you agree with Clark's definition of adolescence, particularly the uniqueness of mid-adolescence (p. 34-37)


Do you agree with Clark's assessment of the cultural transition that has taken place?&nbsp; For me this was really good.&nbsp; I've never thought about what it would actually be like to live in a culture that finds the Beatles to be edgy.&nbsp; It is completely outside of my realm of experience


In what ways, if any, have you observed the culture abandonment of adolescents, as Clark describes?

<p><br />Thanks for reading this.&nbsp; I hope that all my posts will not be quite this extensive.&nbsp; But thanks again.</p>]]></description>
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  <title>The Dark Knight</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/the-dark-knight/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/the-dark-knight/</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:44:48 CDT</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>Being a WAM!&nbsp;BAM! Batman fan of the 70's TV variety, it's hard for me not to check out the latest manifestation of the character that was birthed by Zorro. (That's my understanding. Before becoming a pastor and while still in the toy industry, the comic world gurus from Marvel, told me Zorro was the genesis of the Caped Crusader.)</p>
<p>The movie is a parable of a world without God and His standards. It is DARK! Well done, but dark. The movie&nbsp;springs from a petri dish of near hopelessness. The worst of everyday mankind is nurtured and fueled by the moral dilemmas schemed up by the evil Joker. Here are two points I feel were cleverly driven home by the movie, a very well done movie.</p>

1. Without evil, good cannot exist. Now this isn't said in so many words, but while hanging upside down by a cable that saved his life, the Joker tells Batman that without him he couldn't be a hero and would essentially have no purpose. He's saying good is the parasite of evil. 

<p>In the ancient dialog asking, "Where did evil come from," early sages reasoned, 1) God made everything, 2) evil is a thing that exists therefore 3) God made evil. It's almost an ancient version of The Force, the yin and yang of morality. Good is opposed by an equal and opposite force of evil that was created by God for some sort of cosmic balance. Making matters worse, God called everything He had made good. So even evil had a positive purpose, as the Joker also believes.</p>
<p>Then Augustine came to the rescue. Using the same information he said, "If God created everything, and everything was good, and evil is not good, therefore evil must not be a thing. Augustine reasoned that evil is the absence of something and that something is good. Evil is the absence of what we call good or righteousness. He reasoned that it is very much the same as darkness which only exists at the absence of light. In fact, the fall of Adam and Eve created an absence of good and that absence is called evil, or darkness. The Apostle John loved this metaphor and used it extensively in his gospel and letters.</p>
<p>The Joker and the movie are WRONG! Good does not need evil to exist or be heroic. In fact, because of the fall, evil can only exist when righteousness shrinks back and is not heroic, creating the void called evil or darkness.</p>
<p>Wow! I bet you didn't think that The Dark Knight was so theological.</p>

2. FATE IS RANDOM. One of the potential heroes of the movie insists that fate is the flip of a coin. Throughout the movie he tosses a coin to determine what he will do next. I know this is just a movie, but whether it is intentional or not, the movie is creating a dialog of thought that is impacting and steering the thoughts of those watching it to believe randomness is sovereign.

<p>Fate is far from random. If the Bible is an accurate revelation of truth as I believe, God's plan is so thorough He knows the number of our days and the number of the hairs on our head. So complete is God's knowledge of His creation, of which we are all a part, not even a sparrow dies without His foreknowledge. Furthermore, He knows the content of our days before one ever existed.</p>
<p>So where does this idea of a random, flip of the coin, future stem? Randomness is the child of evolution. Like the D.A. of Gotham's fate, evolution is a 50/50 flip of a coin. Cells, organisms, made natural, totally random responses to their environment that either helped or hindered their growth and/or reproduction. Today is a result of those random "choices." Our reality and we ourselves are here today only because enough time has allowed for enough "correct" random decisions. (Ironically that means every evolutionist MUST admit that, at a minimum, half of their own decision are wrong, including, potentially, the theory of evolution.)</p>
<p>So, what am I saying? I'm saying another dark side of this dark movie is inferring everything, including morality, is random. It's not teaching this as much as it is planting the seeds of a random universe where any decision could be equally wrong or right. Gotham has no absolute standards created by a holy God to direct the social relationships of mankind or mankind's relationship with their Creator God. Like the bumper sticker that says, "Do random acts of kindness" this movie suggests our motives, good or bad, are no more than compulsive, uncontrollable acts of randomness that have been reinforced by either positive or negative experiences.</p>
<p>If The Dark Knight's Gotham shows us anything, it does us all a favor portraying what life in a random, evil required society would look like. Thank God for God.</p>
<p>Thinking about it,</p>
<p>Wayne</p>]]></description>
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  <title>Welcome to the New Site!</title>
  <link>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/welcome-to-the-new-site/</link>
  <guid>http://www.oakcommunitychurch.org/blog/welcome-to-the-new-site/</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 21 May 2008 13:17:10 CDT</pubDate>
  <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome to the New OakCommunityChurch.com!</p>]]></description>
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